Abduljabbar Ali When a girl says she wants to focus on herself, it shows that she doesn’t want to engage herself in anything that will sway her away from anything she is working on.
The exact meaning of this phrase solely depends on what you want from her and the relationship between you.
It can be that she is your friend or a girlfriend, it doesn’t matter, I’ll break down everything for you to understand why she told you that.
You need to know that sometimes a girl will tell you something to throw you off the radar.
Sometimes it can be true that she needs time to herself to figure things out but in some cases, it can be that she is trying to push you away.
Before we get too deep into this article, let me begin by sharing what it means when a girl says she wants to focus on herself.
What does it mean when a girl says she wants to focus on herself?
When a girl says she wants to focus on herself it means that she doesn’t want to commit to anything that is going to prevent her from working on her issues. It can be her career or self-development journey.
She doesn’t want to involve herself in anything that is going to make her lose her focus on what she cares about.
For instance, if you have asked her to be your girlfriend and what she told you is this, she doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now because she is putting all her energy into Working on herself.
She can’t be in a relationship with you because it will be hard for her to invest all her energy and attention into building herself to be the person she wants to be.
This has something to do with her, it’s not about how she feels about you. The current stage she is in doesn’t allow her to pay attention to someone else but herself.
She is telling you this because she wants you to know that if it were not for the circumstances that she is dealing with, she could have given you what you want.
Being in a relationship with you will only be a distraction for her since she is trying hard to become someone else. She won’t give you any attention and this will end up ruining your relationship.
The only person she can think of is herself and that is why she is telling you that she wants to focus on herself for the moment.
If you get close, she won’t give you what you want. She will be too busy figuring her sh*t and she won’t have a space for you in her life.
Is this truly the only reason why she told you that she wants to focus on herself?
There is more to it, let me dive deeper into the details for you to understand why she told you that she wants nothing but to work on herself.
This is why she wants to focus on herself;
1. Her current situation doesn’t allow her to be in a relationship.
If you propose to a girl and she tells you that she wants to focus on herself, this means that she wants to take time to deal with her issues.
She has a lot on her plate right now to the extent that she can’t open her arms to embrace something else.
If you have asked her to be your girlfriend, she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you because of what she is handling right now.
As you already know, a relationship requires lots of commitment and compassion that she doesn’t have. She is putting all her energy and attention into working on the things that make her whole.
We all have things in our lives that we are trying so hard to work on. If a girl tells you that she wants to work on herself even when you realize she has feelings for you — she knows that it will be hard to make the relationship work when she has things that are constantly pulling her in different directions.
She has a lot of things in her life that she needs to work on. Being in a relationship will only make it harder for her to achieve the things she is working on.
If she chooses to be with you, it means she will have to let some of the important things she is working on in her life slide.
She doesn’t want to do that and that is why she told you she needs to focus on herself.
It can also be that the things she is dealing with turned her into a mess and she is not good for anyone. She feels that you won’t love her when you realize she is broken beyond a fixing point.
She needs time to deal with her issues and become someone better before she decides to open her heart to anyone.
We all have those moments when we have so much going on in our lives to the extent that we feel so overwhelmed by everything.
You can’t even focus on anything else apart from the issues you are trying to set straight in your life.
This is what she is going through and that is why she can’t focus on you or the relationship you want to build with her. Instead of lying to you that she can commit to you and waste your time, she is just being honest with you about the position she is 8n right now.
2. She is not interested in you.
This may be another reason why she told you that she wants to focus on herself.
For a girl to reject you, she doesn’t have to tell you that she doesn’t love you or that she doesn’t have feelings for you.
She will just give you an excuse for you to stop pursuing her. Maybe she thinks that when she tells you that she doesn’t love you or feel anything for you, this will push you away further from her.
The friendship that you have right now will end the moment you realize she doesn’t have feelings for you.
She doesn’t want the friendship to end and that is why she can’t afford to give you a reason to cut her off.
Read also; Should You Be Friends With A Girl Who Rejected You?
The only way to do that is just to give you an excuse that will prevent you from asking something more from her.
If she is your friend, you will continue to maintain the relationship because you will believe that she doesn’t want to involve herself in a romantic relationship since she is dealing with huge things in her life.
As her friend, you wouldn’t want to end things up with her. You will do everything you can to maintain the relationship and help her through the things she is dealing with instead of pushing for what you want from her.
The above situation might be the reason why she told you that she wants to focus on herself.
Another simple reason why she told you that she wants to focus on herself is that she is not interested in you.
You are not the type of guy she wants to be with. She indirectly told you that she doesn’t want to be with you.
Think about it, if there is any chance that she wanted so badly to be with a guy like you, do you think she would have let anything hold her back?
She would have given you a chance and asked you to take things slow so that she has enough time to deal with the issues in her life.
Read also; When A Girl Says She Wants To Take Things Slow: It Means
When a girl wants to be with you, she will do everything she can to ensure that the relationship comes into play. She will be ready to sacrifice anything to make things work.
But the truth is that you don’t give her that kind of push to make her want to risk it all. The feelings she has for you don’t allow her to leave everything behind and prioritize you.
She didn’t want to tell you that she was not interested in you thinking that it would end up hurting your feelings.
That is why she felt it’s appropriate for her to tell you that she is working on herself for you to just let her be.
What she told you is just an excuse to throw you off the radar. If a girl is interested in you she will give you a shot no matter what she is dealing with in her life.
3. She has too much going on in her life.
It can be that she has too much going on in her life right now. This is messing her up and ruining her focus on anything else but herself.
She is trying to make life work for her. There are so many things she is trying to put into perspective and that is why it’s so hard for her to invest her energy into something else.
If she gets into a relationship with you it means she will have to commit to you. The commitment alone is enough to break her into pieces.
She wants time to deal with the things that are taking much of her attention right now.
If she says yes to you, she will only end up disappointing you and this will mess things up. She doesn’t want to engage herself in something that will be so much for her to handle.
It can be that she is busy with her career, she is helping her family out, her job is driving her insane and there are so many things she has to handle every single day.
She doesn’t have time to focus on something else since the moment she loses focus on anything, everything she has been working on will crumble down into pieces.
If she tells you that she needs to focus on herself and truly you see that she has a lot going on just know that she is in a tough situation.
It’s hard for her to open her arms to anything else.
4. She is buying herself time.
If she tells you that she wants to focus on herself when you see that she is slowly coming your way, she is just stalling.
She doesn’t want you to go so hard on her. It can be that she is unsure of how she feels about you if you are truly serious about her or if she is just afraid of letting herself fall into your arms.
It’s normal for a girl to be scared of being vulnerable. You can’t just open your heart to anyone without caution.
If she is showing you signs that she wants to be with you, but she is telling you the focus on herself BS, she is taking her time before she lets herself loose.
As long as she doesn’t push you away, hold on to her but don’t forget your main goal. If you lose sight of what you want, she might feel comfortable making you a friend.
It will be so hard to get yourself out of the friend zone because many girls are just scared of changes and making themselves vulnerable.
She doesn’t want you to know the truth about how she feels about you or what she is thinking about what you want from her.
If you ask a girl to be your girlfriend but she ends up giving you a response you have never expected, she doesn’t want you to understand where her mind is at.
You will be going around in circles trying to understand why she told you that she wants to focus on herself, but that is enough to give her enough time to know where she should place you.
Lastly…
When a girl says that she wants to focus on herself, don’t just stop at that point, you need to ask her if she can let you help her with the things she is dealing with in life.
If she tells you that she doesn’t want to involve herself in a relationship because she is busy building her future, don’t push it.
Be mature enough to understand that she has so much on her plate. The best thing you can do is to give her time.
Don’t push her because it might end up ruining your relationship and you will end up losing her for good.
In most cases, when a girl gives you an excuse just not to be with you, it always has something to do with how she feels about you.
If a girl is truly into you, she will never let anything stop her from taking you into her life. She will be ready to risk it all just to have you in her life.
But if she tells you that she wants to focus on herself and yet she is always around you, she wants to hang out with you and even ask you to go over to her place — she is stalling. She wants to be sure of how the two of you connect before she opens up her heart.
It can also be that she is looking at what you will do during the moment she is “focusing on herself” so that she makes the right decision.
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