Abduljabbar Ali When a girl wants you to pay for everything it can be that she is using you for money.
There are a lot of theories surrounding this issue, but give a moment to clarify everything for you to understand if she is using you for money or if there is something more to that.
A girl may use you for money but she may disguise it as a way of you helping her out, supporting her, and showing her that you care.
As a man, you may even end up concluding that you must support her financially but that is not always the case.
It’s not wrong to support your girlfriend financially, but when it passes a certain point (she wants you to pay for everything) you need to pull back and investigate the situation.
Before we get lost in details, let me share what it means first.
What does it mean when a girl wants you to pay for everything?
When a girl wants you to pay for everything it means that she is taking advantage of you, or she is assuming that it’s your responsibility to take care of her financially and she doesn’t have to do anything to support you.
In some ways, it means that she is only using you for money. She is taking advantage of you because she knows you will always pay for everything.
She knows that you care about her, and you will always chip in to cover the bills when you are with her.
You may say that she is broke and that is why she wants you to pay for everything.
If that is the case, the truth is that she is too lazy and she has gotten comfortable depending on you to clear the bills.
An ambitious woman will never just sit down and let you pay for everything.
Even if her situation is tight, she will at least try to show you that she wants to support you clear the bills but she is stuck currently.
She won’t get too comfortable accepting any financial aid from you. You will notice she doesn’t want you to pay for some things.
You will also find that she is minimizing the things she needs when you go shopping with her.
This is all to prevent you from spending so much money on her.
But if she doesn’t care how much money you spend on her, she wants you to buy her expensive things and she wants you to take her to expensive restaurants and hotels, this is a sign that she is using you for money.
She is only with you because she knows you are her bank account, a guy who can pay for anything she wants. After all, you are in love with her.
To know whether she is using you for money or otherwise, you need to observe how she reacts when you refuse to pay for everything.
When she wants money, tell her that you don’t have anything at the moment and that you are broke.
If she is only with you because of your money, you will notice that she is distancing herself from you.
She will only come around when she knows that you have money and you will be able to pay for everything she needs.
What to do when a girl wants you to pay for everything
1. Find out why she wants you to pay for everything.
When a girl always wants you to pay for everything don’t be quick to suggest that she is using you for money.
You need to take your time and learn about her situation to understand why she is over-dependent on you.
This is the mature approach to work on this issue without you finding yourself in a negative situation with her.
You aim to protect the relationship and ensure that you aren’t a burden to each other.
When you are in a relationship you both have to be accountable for each other, and support each other but not exploit each other.
The first and foremost way to find out why she always wants you to pay for everything is to talk to her.
Ask her why she always wants you to pay for everything she wants. Talk about her financial situation and listen to the response she is going to give you.
It can be that she is going through financial challenges, she can’t clear her bills anymore and that is why she wants you to take care of everything.
You can’t blame her if this is the situation she is dealing with for now.
Once you know why she always wants you to pay for everything that is when you will have a clue on how to navigate this issue.
If she is going through a tough time, you will have to think of a way to help her.
You have no choice but to support her. You don’t have to give her money but advise on how she can shift things around.
2. Stop paying for unnecessary things.
If you think that she is draining you financially for no reason, you need to stop paying for unnecessary things.
The moment you keep paying for the things she needs, it won’t stop. She will always expect you to pay for everything.
But when she realizes that nowadays you don’t entertain what she does, she will be embarrassed and she will have no choice but to pay for the things she needs.
So, you need to stop paying for everything. If you are out on a date, let her know that you don’t have enough cash.
She will automatically know that you have to split the cost of the things you need.
If she doesn’t have anything in her bag or a bank account she won’t think of going out with you.
But if you are soft and affected easily by her charm, this will be hard for you to evade.
The best thing to do is to avoid her. Don’t hang out with her when you know that she is always taking you to places that require you to pay for things.
If she is just your friend, you don’t need to stress yourself about her. She doesn’t bring anything to your table but problems.
She is going to drain you and make you broke, you don’t need that kind of person in your life.
But if she is someone you are dating, let her know that you won’t be paying for everything.
She will have no choice but to start paying for the things she needs even if you won’t have to split the cost of things.
3. Let her know how you feel about the situation.
Maybe she doesn’t know that you are affected by how she handles money matters.
It can be that she doesn’t think you are bothered by what she asks of you.
If you have been always paying for everything, she is used to the fact that you must do so.
You have never told her that you can’t pay for everything. She took that as a sign that you are okay with doing it.
But if you let her know that you don’t find it a good idea to pay for everything and explain to her why that is so, she will stop asking you to do that.
She will start paying for the things she needs without bothering you to clear her bills.
So, talk to her about it, what is the worst that can happen? She won’t suddenly break up with you just because you told her that you don’t like the idea of paying for everything.
If there is something that pushes her to ask you to pay for everything, you will know it all through this conversation you will have.
So, don’t be afraid to open up your heart and talk to her about it. You are in a relationship, you need to talk to each other about any issues that bother you all.
4. If she is unambitious, change her.
If she is your girlfriend and you have noticed that she is over-dependent on you because she is not ambitious, you will have to change her.
You need to change her. This requires you to shape her mentality and show her that she needs to wake up and start taking care of her sh*t.
Mentor her, help her secure jobs, teach her online side hustles, and be there for her through every step she takes to transform her life.
If she truly wants to make you happy and she is not with you because of your money, she will be willing to work hard just to be independent.
But if she is with you because of your money, she won’t be willing to make any changes.
She will continue asking you to pay for everything. This is a red flag. You are dating a gold digger. You should break up with her if this is the case.
If you are okay with her using you for your money, keep paying for everything…
5. If she can’t change let her go.
When you find out that she is using you for money the first thing you should do is to end the relationship.
She doesn’t love you at all. You are with her because you are of use to her. If you were broke, she would have left you a long time ago.
If you have tried to put her through processes to help her change but she doesn’t want to, the best thing to do is to let her go.
She is only going to make your life super hard. You need someone who will support you in what you do and not drain you financially.
You are dating a parasite. She can’t make a good wife. Unless you are also using her, you should dump her.
This is what you should do if a girl wants you to pay for everything when she is capable of doing it.
Lastly…
In most cases, if a girl always wants you to pay for everything, she is using you for money, the best thing to do is to leave her.
But if you find out that she is struggling financially, you should think of a way of helping her to be independent.
It’s not your duty to pay for everything when she is capable of doing it. You need to let her know that a relationship is all about supporting each other.
If she can’t support you, leave her, she is only going to make your life harder.
What happens when you have no money? Do you think she will chip in to help you?
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